Off-season Oscars: Red Carpet Worthy or Doomed to the D-List?

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Thank you. Thank you all! You’re all too kind! I really couldn’t have made it here without… [cue the creeping Jaw’s theme, the realest addition to the ceremonies in 85yrs of running]… YOU BETTER WRAP THAT OFF-SEASON UP, Bwrapitupbox!..

So we landed on a few basic categories, cast the nominations, and decided on winners. PROpaintball.com IS the committee. There will be no long-winded, soppy acceptance speeches to endure, and no bloated celebrity egos to remark about. However, we do encourage you to take-on the roll of critic and let out what you feel about the picks. It wouldn’t be a proper mock-up of the Academy Awards without a hailstorm of opinion from the folks in cyberspace.

 

*Best Strategic Move Within Paintball Industry*
Nominees:

And the winner is..

5 teams out of the NPPL. Many would argue that this would be more aptly titled “biggest” shift in the industry than “best”. What’s to become of 7-man.. What’s to become of the NPPL.. What comes next? Do we ultimately get a more unified sport, or just a shrunken offering for players.

 

*Best New Product*
Nominees:

And the winner is..

Empire-Vanquish

Empire Vanquish. We know, we know; it doesn’t officially exist until later today and is a huge topic of contention internally as we are not quite sure how much new innovation exists beyond what Smart Parts did back in 2009 (pre-bankruptcy/buyout). As far as buzz goes though, this one takes the crown. Rumored for years as the Empire-ized LUXE, this new paintball gun will be making waves tomorrow. The big question remains — what compelling features will justify us to spend an additional $1000 over that of an Empire AXE? Stay tuned to ProPaintball for a look at the new vanquish paintball gun.

 

*Best Off-season Pick-up [Coach]*
Nominees:

And the winner is..

Paul Richards. Paul is a force of knowledge and strategy within the world of paintball. This one is sure to be argued, but with Paul’s winning ways, extensive coaching history, and a fertile opportunity working with the revamped X-Factor squad, he seems to be have the “best seat in the house”.

 

*Best Off-season Pick-up [Player]*

Nominees:

  • Scott Kemp (Ironmen to X-Factor)
  • Justin Rabackoff (Damage to Impact)
  • Kyle Spicka (Ironmen to Dynasty)
  • Alex “Mouse” Goldman (Damage to Ironmen)
  • Zack Wake (Infamous to X-Factor)

And the winner is..

Justin Rabackoff. J-Rab is a hot ticket item on the paintball circuit, no doubt about that. In the context of his new team situation, seems like the obvious #1 here. Impact is in it to win it.

 

*Best Team to Follow Based on Storylines*
Nominees:

  • Edmonton Impact
  • Sacramento XSV
  • Omaha Vicious
  • San Antonio X-Factor
  • San Diego Dynasty

And the winner is..

edmontonimpact-paintballteam

Edmonton Impact. This team has a long history of fighting its way in, falling out, and coming back again. The 2013 Impact line-up is stacked with all the necessary elements for success; depth of roster, a desire to win and a coach and team owner ready to make it happen. Every doing of this organization is primed to be devoured by media and fan alike in 2013.

 

*Best Chance of Winning Two or More Events [PSP]*
Nominees:

  • Edmonton Impact
  • Houston Heat
  • Moscow Red Legion
  • Tampa Bay Damage
  • Los Angeles Infamous

And the winner is..

houstonheatpaintball

Houston Heat. Wearers of 2012’s PSP crown. This team made its debut in 2012 as a group of pro paintball players looking for a new home and in a short matter of time proved they were much more. Last season they slayed it. Undoubtedly these guys are the front runners for 2013.

 

*Best Chance of Competing in Challengers Division All Season Long*
Nominees:

  • Ton Ton Flinguers
  • Chattanooga C.E.P
  • Chicago Aftershock
  • upTon 187 cRew
  • Seattle Thunder

And the winner is..

Chattanooga C.E.P. Remember drawing “dead” cartoons as a kid? You draw “X’s” as eyes?.. You see where I’m going with that, right? Year 3, for CEP, we wait in glee, for you to deliver a win for thee.

 

 

And that concludes the 101st running of the first annual PRO paintball Off-season Oscars. What do you think of the picks? Is the Academy on-point or out-of-wack? Any worthy nominations we overlooked? Thoughts on the real awards? Let it be heard.